Loneliness is a emotion felt by an individual who is experiencing a lack of good relationships and so the most obvious way to counter this is to be in good relationships. But this is easier said than done and so people tend to sacrifice the 'good' part and end up in any kind of relationship hoping that it is preventing them from feeling alone.
Relationships in all their forms are important to every single one of us and it is what we define ourselves by. Whether it is our relationship with our family, friends or a boyfriend/girlfriend, we all find it very hard to live our lives without these being intact. This often means that we have to compromise things that we want for someone else so that the relationship continues, the compromises are usually worth it also because of the happiness the relationship brings to us overall. So, when a relationship comes to prioritize compromises over the general happiness you take from the relationship, a choice evolves, to stay or to go?
The obvious answer is to leave. But this is often easier said than done.
In terms of romantic relationships, loneliness is more often seen as a syndrome of not having a relationship rather than not having a good relationship. People often use the excuse 'but i love them', as the reason for staying in unhappy relationships but what I think a lot of it comes down to is a fear of being alone. People associate a more extreme unhappiness and loneliness with being single than the unhappiness and loneliness they are experiencing in their romantic relationship. But how true is this?
When you step outside the box and look at the bigger picture, it is often clear to see that you are a part of many relationships which offer fulfillment and an answer to 'loneliness'. This ability to reflect can then increase the chances of sustaining a happy relationship because being able to see the good in your life places less pressure on the romantic relationship.
What do you think?
Perhaps the quest for a 'kindred spirit' or 'soul-mate' is an innate part of human nature and therefore loneliness from the lack of such a person in one's life is totally justified.
ReplyDeleteThe idea of such a person is such a wonderful thing and given the choice between potentially a lifetime of 'loneliness' and a promising but premature relationship, it is sad but understandable that a lot of people end up and remain in quite emotionally painful situations (The fear of being alone is often more overwhelming).
I think it is better to acknowledge and accept that particular aspect of loneliness as a part of life, and look forward to the day when that special person is found.
Needless to say this is much easier said than done.
I hear what you're saying Aj and I also think that it is innate but what I call into question is why a person has to be lonely when there are family and friends around to fill that gap.
ReplyDeleteI believe that most people who stay in romantic relationships which are destructive are just as lonely as they would be out of the relationship because it cannot provide them fulfillment if it causes other aspects of their lives to suffer?